after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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