That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
