I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
