She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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