I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
