I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
