he wants to bone in the snuggie
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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