i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
