Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
