I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
