is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
kristin has been a bad kristin
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
