if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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