I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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