you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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