Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize