I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
