its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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