1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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