you win again, gameday.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize