I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
