I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
