I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
