I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
