You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize