I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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