NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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