have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
