You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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