So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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