I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
