You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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