You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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