i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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