make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
