That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
