dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
