My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize