like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
