I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize