Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
