I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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