we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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