Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
