I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
