On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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