how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
