Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
