Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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