porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
