No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
