My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
