i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
