I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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