dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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