I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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