Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
