Don't you send me to vm
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
