Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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