Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
