I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
