i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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